protector energy

the whole day of practice--
sore in my body--smell of dry sweat.
mind becomes clear and bright;
but, sorry that's not enough.

in the dark corner of meditative state.
there's hidden fear always asking for existence.
want to be seen; want to be known; want to be heard.
without facing it, complete surrender cannot occur.

O, six-armed father,
i evoke all fear and ignorance in every corner of my awareness;
please arise from darkness of the unknown and intervene!
be harsh and fierce to this cridulous, worthless child-- a dharma perverter;

come and eat my fear and arrogance as your food.
destroy me and lead your son to infinite space of the absolute chaos and ambiguity.

--om, mahakalaya devaraksha samaya ho balim te khahi--