alone, not lonely
there is some difference between loneliness and aloneness. loneliness seems to arise from some sense of lack inside and we need to fulfill that feeling by wanting someone to be with. as N'Peung said,"I still feel lonely I have everyone beside." sometimes, loneliness can come out of nowhere. you can be in a crowded party with a bunch of friends, but deeply inside you still feel so lonely.
to work with loneliness has nothing to do with searching for a partner or jumping into one relationship after another. looking inside, there are two things that we need to work with. one is the sense of lack and two is the desire to find things outside to fulfill ourselves. without these two, we will be in aloneness, not loneliness.
to me, there's nothing wrong with aloneness. there's a sense of wholeness and intelligence in it. we all come here alone and we will leave here alone. we all know that, but not many have kept that in mind. so, aloneness seems to be the only way we would come to realize how precious our life could be. it seems to be a gateway for each of us to connect to the backdrop of life and death, the ground of movement and transformation, which is th great silence underlying all living and non-living beings.
why do we often feel bad to be alone? it doesn't make sense to run away from facing reality. it's important to learn how to be alone coz it is really the truth of life. once you are able to be with yourself, relate to yourself, you would realize how much you love people and all santient beings around you. you would also see how much appreciation you have to what you are. beginning from inside out, from a sense of wholeness, from acceptance of aloneness, we will be able to give out everything to benefit others.
relationship always begin with a sense of giving out. it's the transcendental source of love and kindness that creates genuine relationship in this world, like the sun and the moon, the sky and the tree, and of course,...our human heart. all of them are alone, but they've never felt lonely because they give them "selves" out to benefit others all the time.