taste your shit

like other retreats i have done, i spent most of the time with my shits. perhaps, the only difference this time was that I had much less resistance. i'm less afraid to be with what is...instead of trying to act like pure or perfect. it feels really good, actually.

for example, if you have a tendency to really kill somebody out of your anger, i think the only way to work with that is to accept a murderer as part of you---feel how it's like for you wanting to kill someone, taste the anger in every cell and vein, and see the very nature of your mind and body in that situation. I don't think trying to tell yourself mentally that killing is a bad thing, so don't do it-- is going to work.

smell it
touch it
taste it

chocolate shit.